Thursday, November 4

because i need a break from studying...

i found this...

simple ways to confuse your roommate(s).

read with the flashlight when the lights are on.  pretend to read without one when the lights are out.  remark every so often how great the book is.

never speak to your roommate directly.  if you need to ask or tell them something, go to another room and call them on the phone.

put up traffic signs around the room.  if your roommate doesn't obey them, give him or her a ticket.  confiscate something your roommate owns until they pay the fine.

fill an empty shaving cream can with whipped cream. use it to shave, and then spray some into your mouth.  later on, complain that you feel sick. continue this process for several weeks.

dress like a military officer.  insist that your roommate salute you upon sight.  if he or she refuses, insist that he or she do 100  push-ups.  keep saying things like "your momma isn't here to take care of you anymore."

buy a lava lamp. stare at it for hours, imitating its movements with your face. 

wear glasses, and complain that you can never see anything.  bump into walls and doors.  put your clothes on backwards.  say "who's that?" every time your roommate enters the room.  when you're not wearing the glasses, act like you can see fine.

insist that your roommate recite the "pledge of allegiance" with you every morning.

get a can of beans.  label them "jumping beans."  eat them, and jump around the room.  get another can of beans.  label them, "dancing beans."  eat them, and then dance around the room.  get another can of beans.  label them "kill your roommate beans." eat them, smiling at your roommate.

draw a tiny, black spot on your arm.  make it bigger everyday.  look at it and say, "it's spreading, it's spreading."

sign your roommate up for various activities. (campus tour guide, blood donor, organ donor.)

bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus.  give them tours of the room and the building.  have them ask about your roommate in front of him or her, and reply, "oh him/her?  he/she won't be here much longer."

as soon as your roommate turns the light off at night, begin singing famous operas as loud as you can.  when your roommate turns on the light, look around and pretend to be confused.

sit and stare at your roommate for hours.  bring others in to join you. eat peanuts, throwing a few at your roommate.  then say, "boy, these zoos just aren't what they use to be."

smile.  all the time.

hope you enjoyed these as much as i did.

xoxo, jamie


Melissy J said...

These are awesome!

Cameron Armstrong said...

lmao I especially liked the throwing peanuts one

Christopher said...

ha! these are hilariously evil, i'm going to mess with people at work tomorrow now... because to hell with getting a roommie.

Bree said...

haha these are funny. I should tell my boyfriend to do a few of these to his roommate.

Rorie said...

hahhaha too funn!!!

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Allie Burnham said...

awesome, i love it. and i am in finance, but i do not have a special calculator? i'm not a finance major im just taking this to fill a requirement haha.
stay well,

btd. said...

Oh my goodness, I got a big thrill out of this. I'm bookmarking this post to do this when I get into college. :) *still cracking up*

love, sam & chas said...

Just stumbled across your blog...SO GLAD I DID!
I loved this post. Reminded me of how me and my roommate would AIM each other while sitting two feet away...good times :)